"Introvert" Is Not A Flaw

"You need to talk more."

"Why are you so quiet?" 

"You're so antisocial."  

I have heard all of these things countless times in my life from everyone including my teachers, my best friends, and even my mother.  They all prompted me to be more outgoing, to make more friends, to talk more, and I'm sure that while they all had good intentions, it led me to believe that being introverted was a flaw.  That I was less of a person than my outgoing, social peers.  I grew up believing that, and I'm still feeling the repercussions of those poisonous thoughts to this day.  Sometimes, the damage feels irreversible.

Because it took me a long time to understand that I am not less of a person than anyone else just because I don't talk as much, or just because I'd rather stay at home with a book than go out to a bar or any other crowded place with my friends.  It took me years to understand that being extroverted is not more acceptable or better than being introverted.  Just like extroverts, introverts have their own set of strengths that make them special and important.

Guys, this is hard for me to write about because even thinking that the extrovert 'ideal' was forced upon me makes me really angry.  I shouldn't feel like less of a person because small talk feels like sandpaper on my brain.  I shouldn't have to worry if others think I'm stuck up or rude because I don't talk as much as they'd like.  Sometimes I just need to be by myself and not talk to anyone.  And that's okay.

Even though it's okay, and I know that now, I was still bullied for being a quiet girl in school.  I was scared to go to school every day.  How sad is that?  How many other young girls are scared to go to school because their personality doesn't match up with society's expectations?  How many of them think they need to change?  It makes me sad to think about.  And it needs to stop.  

To be clear, I don't believe that being extroverted is bad either.  Most of my friends are extroverted and I think it's because we balance each other out.  We need to accept all personalities because we need different personality types in this world to work together and come up with the best solutions or even just to be our best selves.  Extroverts and introverts need each other, so why is it that sometimes it feels like there's such a divide between them.

Even now, as an adult, I still bristle and shut down whenever someone makes any indication that they've noticed I'm a quiet person.  I'm still training myself to feel proud of the way I am and not to feel negative about it.  I still catch myself thinking about how much I wish I could change, but why should I change?  This is who I am and honestly, I shouldn't feel defensive of it.  I'm not the one that needs to change.  Society's negative view of introverts needs to change.  Because be it body issues or physical belongings or personality quirks, nobody should feel like they need to change in order to feel accepted.

Have you ever had any experiences with this sort of thing?  What are your thoughts on it?

Linked up with Random Wednesday.