10 things men should know about women

I am no expert on men.  And I find women just about as confusing.  In fact, people in general kind of confuse me and have me going "um... wha...?" on most days.  But these are ten facts that I have found to be true about women, especially if the woman in question is... me.  With a little help from someecards, of course.

1.  You will find hair ties everywhere.  She, however, will never be able to find a hair tie.

2.  Just like you, she's going to do some dumb shit sometimes.  Forgive her and move on.

3.  Sometimes, your girl might become obsessed with weird things, like Harry Potter or Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy or... I don't know, blogging.  Just go with it.  Embrace it.

4.  She will let you know - loudly - when she is on her period.  There will be no awkward discoveries... she. will. let you. know.  If you hear a loud exclamation of, "you've got to be fucking kidding me," coming from the bathroom... it's that time again.

5.  She will probably want to talk about the stresses of her day, just like you will.  And you will listen to her if you want her to listen to you.

6.  You can buy her flowers, but don't expect her to keep them alive.

7.  When she heads out the door and tells you she's going to Target, freeze all your credit cards and all your bank accounts because son, if you don't, there isn't gunna be a cent left to your name when she walks back in that door (especially if she's a teacher at the beginning of the school year and the dollar section is right by the entrance).

8.  She will fart.  I don't care how pretty and lovely she is.  She is also a human being.  And you know what??  Fair enough, because we all know that men are the worst villains when it comes to this sort of thing. ;)

9.  It might seem like she loves her dog more than you sometimes.  It's very possible that she does.  Don't take it personally.

10.  She wants to be told she's pretty.  And often.  She also wants to be told she's smart and caring and a wonderful person... but you'll probably get more bang for your buck if you tell her she's pretty (and mean it).  Just saying.

Anything you'd add to the list? ;)

Also, I'm featured on Tales of a Twenty Something today over here, so go check me out! And if you're visiting from Tales of a Twenty Somehing, thanks for stopping by!